Triggered Response

Hmmm…. this morning I overheard a conversation that triggered an intense  response. The phrase “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” was used and I immediately thought ‘I can’t do that. Not that I won’t do that, but that I can’t.’ What happens when I’m not able to be fully present in the moment, or when my mood is so twisted out of shape that I can’t react correctly? What happens when I don’t have it in me to dig down deep and pull energy into my actions or find encouragement for the day?

In the past I would feel shame when I feel this way. Somehow I failed to live the human life I’m supposed to live when I don’t pull myself up by my bootstraps and find solid ways to make it in this world. And that’s what got triggered in me today. But then I was able to find a different response. I was able to tell myself that I can look for help. I can’t make it all on my own. I need partners and companions, meds and treatments, professionals and support groups, to make it through this life. I can do it – with help. And THAT is a position of recovery instead of shame.

 

Symbols I'm Pondering: Companion

 

 

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4 responses to “Triggered Response

  1. Oh,honeybee. I am so sorry. I was directing the word “bootstrap” to someone else whom is more capable on their own. You were right about needing to ask for help. Just remember to take one day at a time. As the Bible says, “sufficient this day are the troubles thereof.” But we have the promise that we are not alone, and that “As thy days so shall thy strength be.”
    So, grab on to HIs promises and know that expectationsare based on God”s provisions as He waits to show His love to us. Keep looking to Jesus. He will never let you down.
    Again, I apologize. I am in a learning curve too in being aware of peoples limitations and saying things right. Thank you for the lesson.

    • Hi, Mom! Thanks for the comment back. I posted about the bootstrap comment just to highlight my own response, rather than the comment itself or whoever made it. I was glad that I was able to have a healthier response than to wallow in shame the way I used to when I would hear the bootstrap comment. I’m still discovering what helpful thoughts I need to encourage and which it’s time to let go of. Thanks for being part of my learning process!

  2. What a great thing to recognize a different response in yourself. You are wise and wonderful.

  3. I like to think of Dante, making his journey through the Inferno and the Purgatorio, with Virgil as his guide. We cannot do these things alone.

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