As has been the case for most of this month’s ECT treatments, I’ve had muscle pain throughout my body for two
days after yesterday’s ECT, so much so that it hurts to stand or walk or even move around the tiniest bit on the couch. Ouch! The pain doesn’t respond to ibuprofen or to heat either. I just have to wait it out, I guess.
I have love/hate relationships with my body because of the odd cycles of pain I live through. I might be fine for weeks with just bare amounts that remind me of the rod in my back or the fibromyalgia throughout my body. Then there will be months when everything hurts, and activities of daily life get squashed. And then there are extra events such as a trip, a procedure or a workout that brings an extra amount and extra frequency of pain – more than usual, more often than usual.
Which is what I’m dealing with this weekend and makes me want to scratch my eyes out and my skin off! This impulse does not help the rest of my mood cycles either.
Circulating around twitter the last few days, I’ve seen an invitation for all bodies to write and submit a love-letter to her or his own body. Perhaps that would help me get through this nasty pain cycle.
Dear Deborah’s Body,
You are truly amazing and wonderfully made … and to be commended for easing as much pain as you do each day. You remain sensually aware of the world and communicate that to Deborah. Your skin feels the air, the water, the fabrics of life, the pressure of skin from another person. Even the pain sensors that shoot off randomly demonstrate how sensitive the body is, and how much love is needed to cushion each delicate part of the body. Thank you for working well and communicating so faithfully.
Peace, Deborah’s Mind