…Matchbox 20 Is How I Feel

I was asked several times today how I was feeling. I don’t really have an answer – maybe because I don’t know. Until these two songs came on the radio. I used to associate them with someone else… now it’s me! This is how I feel!

“Bent” from Matchbox 20’s  Mad Season (2000)

If I fall along the way
Pick me up and dust me off
And if I get too tired to make it
Be my breath so I can walk

If I need some other love, then
Give me more than I can stand
And when my smile gets old and faded
Wait around I’ll smile again

Shouldn’t be so complicated
Just hold me and then
Oh, just hold me again

[Chorus]
Can you help me I’m bent
I’m so scared that I’ll never
Get put back together
Keep breaking me in
And this is how we will end
With you and me bent

If I couldn’t sleep, could you sleep?
Could you paint me better off?
Could you sympathize with my needs?
I know you think I need a lot

I started out clean but I’m jaded
Just phoning it in
Oh, just breaking the skin

[Chorus]

Start bending me, it’s never enough
As I feel all your pieces
Start bending me, keep bending me
Oh, until I’m completely broken in

Shouldn’t be so complicated
Just touch me and then
Oh, just touch me again

[Chorus]

With you and me will let them
Without understanding
Here I go there again

[Chorus]

“Unwell” from Matchbox 20’s More Than You Think You Are (2002)

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I’m headed for a breakdown
And I don’t know why

[Chorus]
But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
I know right now you can’t tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see
A different side of me
I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired
I know right now you don’t care
But soon enough you’re gonna think of me
And how I used to be…me

I’m talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they’ve all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I’ve lost my mind

[Chorus]

I’ve been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they’ll come to get me
Yeah, they’re taking me away

[Chorus]

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I’m just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I’m just a little unwell

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5 responses to “…Matchbox 20 Is How I Feel

  1. Teressa Morris

    Unwell – love that song!! For an entire year that was my theme song!!

  2. Me too! Until I heard “Bent” also and the two always seemed to go together for me.

  3. I am so glad to see you today in your beautiful green sweater. Well or unwell, bent or not, I’m so glad you’re in my life. I try to ask, “How’s this day going?” rather than how are you feeling, hoping that that’s a roomy enough question to allow any answer at all you’d like to share. It was better today because you were there. Healing prayers galore…

  4. Thanks, Jennifer! I wish I had an answer for how this day’s going or how I’m feeling. Just seems to be part of the lack of self-knowledge I seem to have all week. I hope as I have a short break from ECT for a couple weeks, there might be some adjustment perhaps and I might have an answer instead of just shrugging my shoulders.

  5. Not sure I ever made the connection that these were both Matchbox 20! Yeah, these are both favorites of mine.

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