I was discharged from inpatient services today and immediately started the partial hospitalization program, which is 6 hours a day of intensive therapy which lasts for 2-4 weeks. Then you get stepped down to 3 hours a day for a week or so and then discharged into the rest of your life.
I’ve done inpatient and outpatient before, and I hope this is different so that I feel stronger and more sure of myself in coping skills. I have a dream that I will one day be healthy enough to contribute to society again and have an exciting career. I know that is a long while off right now, but it feels good to have hope.
My main focus is being present to the moment, and not thinking more than 20 minutes into the future. It means being present to the great anxiety I feel about being on the outside – about whether I can keep myself safe with all the tempting ordinary items that could hurt me. Dave is here with me today, but is back to his long work hours tomorrow, and I’ll be alone for 5-6 hours a day. THAT will be a challenge!
But I made it through today, one moment at a time.