I apologize for not writing in so long. I haven’t done any artwork in a long time either. I was spending so much processing energy in the 4+ weeks of outpatient therapy in September that I didn’t have it in me to post anything or do any art therapy or just for fun.
But, I’m back! My concentration is still poor, poor enough that I can read only in spurts when I get it in my mind to try, or have a book I really want to read (which doesn’t happen very often since my concentration is poor). And poor enough that I’m having real trouble getting thoughts in my head to write down here and to actually get them written down.
That said, I’m glad to be back writing.
These days I take care of myself. That’s my goal each day and I find success each day I can say I took care of myself and coped effectively with racing thoughts, or fleeting thoughts of self-harm, or low motivation or low energy, or memories or flashbacks. I set up schedules each week and find it all I can do to follow through with the schedule. And following through on the schedule, or having one at all, is my saving fall back plan every day. And every day I need it. I need it desperately! There’s something comforting about knowing I have things to do that helps get me up each day, and a sequence of things to do that helps me find some motivation and energy. The trick is finding interesting and intriguing things that sound interesting by the time I get to it in the week. It’s hard to say how desperately I need this schedule and how helpful it is. But there it is! My life in a nutshell. Not too exciting, but it’s stable. Thank God!