According to my wise therapist, part of this grieving process with the books is manifesting in the racing thoughts and memories I have upon waking and several times a day, even in my sleep at times. Dealing with the feelings and the grief includes noticing what I did like about things I did in the last 18 years of my life, and noticing those I didn’t like or didn’t suit me. They will help me figure out next steps when the time is right.
Here is a breakdown of some of the things my memories have been teaching me. They are not in rank order, just in the order of how I thought of them. I’ll update the list from time to time and share it with you.
- Working with youth, empowering them to make healthy choices and expecting them to bring ideas and wisdom to decision tables.
- Advocating for youth among other adults to get their voices heard.
- Planning retreats or events
- Leading retreats
- Written or Social Media publicity – graphics & content
- Worship planning and liturgy writing or searching for it
- Leading worship and celebrating the sacraments
- Teaching religious/spiritual education classes for youth or adults
- Hospital visitation of folks I knew from the congregation (not strangers)
- Work with a team of people – staff, volunteers, etc – to accomplish tasks
- Volunteer recruitment
- Conflict resolution
- Staring at a computer screen waiting for inspiration for a sermon
- Children’s ministry, except for Godly Play
- Home or hospital visitations, especially with those who could not speak much (don’t do small talk well)
- Working alone in a building
- Always having tasks to do that involve moving or lifting something and so I knew it would hurt my back