Stories of Hope?

The life of a bipolar has many ups and downs. At least that’s what I’m told. And that’s what I’m led to believe by the books I’ve been reading, stories from women who lived through terrible manic highs before being diagnosed bipolar and finding a place a stability. (See which books here.) The stories included deep, suicidal depressions, raging or fanciful manias, stories that make for great reading.

I’m told by professionals in the field that most folks with bipolar are NOT like this, that their lives, once diagnosed and stable are nothing worth writing a book about. So there are no books like those I’m looking for – the stories of people with bipolar who are 10, 15, 20 years from diagnosis living an average life, with an average job and family, with meds and schedules and therapists. But Stable. Living life on their own terms.

I’m looking for hope that I won’t keep bouncing in and out of the hospital with suicidal depression , and that I will be kept from a psychotic or manic break. On the one hand it’s like I want to go back to before all this and just have my regular life back. But on the other hand, I’m looking for a new stability that doesn’t wreak havoc on my family, that doesn’t push me to overwork myself or my back, and where I am more comfortable in my skin and taking care of myself.

Is that a lot to ask?

Are there folks out there with this kind of story that would write a book or something??? Help a sister out, would ya?

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2 responses to “Stories of Hope?

  1. Lelia Faux-Prénom

    Hi, just found your site from a link on SFGate. I can relate! As a health professional who deals with individuals and their concerns every day, I too have had great difficulty periodically, to the point where I simply couldn’t function one morning and dissolved emotionally. I have had to take several lengthy leaves of absence, causing distress to my patients and employers, and of course to myself. (One employer pressured me out; outright lies were placed in my personnel files and I was not even permitted to confront my accuser; I still have feelings of betrayal from this episode, as I gave all my time and energy to my work position and was basically terminated for doing my best) Sometimes I get into a similar round of bad bad depression where everything is black. A couple months ago I even started to write a letter (which I put in a file with my will etc) to my kids and friends and sister, stating “I know I will die soon” and trying to explain why I felt that way. That time I was not suicidal but I wouldn’t have minded not waking up again. Other times, life is all “good” and I can’t sleep much for a week or two. Never quite hospitalized but nearly so, that one time. Fortunately a wonderful woman psychiatrist, who still did her own counseling as well as prescribing, saw through the disease to Who I Really Am and supported me, basically got me stable and functional again. (then she moved away, more’s the pity) Anyway, I could go on, but just wanted to say that yes, I could easily see the possibility of going into a tailspin and losing my career and house and any of the few friends I have left. But for medication, I think it would have happened already. … My uncle had Type 1 bipolar, though back then no one had named it so he was told he had “schizophrenia” which he surely didn’t – it was only when he went into a nursing home as an old man that he was started on the right meds; at that point he started to see clearly and actually apologized to people he had hurt when he was ill. Amazing really. I have type II but that is still rough on a life; two divorces, moving from place to place to find job positions I can deal with, and so on.

    • Thanks, Lelia! There’s something so powerful in being able to share our stories about dealing with this disease and feeling out of control with it. And the havoc it can wreak on our lives, no matter how hard we fight against it.
      Blessings to you!

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