An Unwelcome Twist

A week ago my spouse had a sudden onset of neurological symptoms. We ended up at the ER, then to a spinal surgeon, then back to the ER to be admitted to the hospital. He saw several doctors including a neurologist. He had 2 MRI’s and 2 CT myelograms (ouch!), plus x-rays. Then an EMG yesterday. Even with all these tests, we have no answers. What the doctors think he has is not showing up on the diagnostic tests. So, now another MRI today of his brain. The literature seems to say the longer he has these symptoms, the more likely that there could be permanent damage or lifestyle changes.

This is not cool.

I’ve been pretty successful being present to him through this whole ordeal, and staying optimistic and relatively without worry. My mood has even been stable through this too – until last night. Though I’ve not been feeling worry, my body has been exhibiting signs of worry – forgetfulness, mental and physical exhaustion, difficulty making decisions. I’m so very glad my mom is here to help me recover so she can help me through this!

Last night I felt my mood snap. Irritability everywhere. At least I didn’t snap at anyone, but I felt all my reserves and coping skills go down the drain. Getting rest or eating something didn’t help. Just snapped. Couldn’t care about present or future.

I’ve been proud of myself for relying on my coping skills so well during this time, especially since my routine has been so disrupted – no pool, no volunteering, no time with therapist. The holiday on Monday messed these up as well, so it’s not all D’s situation.

I’m just hoping that I can have the stamina to make it through this ordeal with D, without breaking apart at the seams. Glad I have an appointment with my therapist today.

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4 responses to “An Unwelcome Twist

  1. I’m glad you do, too. Who wouldn’t be irritable as a result of all of this? You’re human and it’s normal to feel frustrated and snappish. It’s also normal to feel like it’s hard to cope. Be gentle with yourself. I continue to hope and pray, with many, that Dave will receive answers, that all will be well for both of you, and that you will get through each day (each minute) knowing you’re surrounded by people who care and want to help.

  2. wishing you both the best…He definitely needs YOU right now…so try and stay strong…~mkg

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