Tonight D and I are joining a couple friends at Ravinia to see Seal (opening act Macy Gray, who we’re not real thrilled with, but whatever). We haven’t seen Seal since we lived in Santa Barbara, so that’s about 14 years. We’re pretty excited about it!
Except I’m in a lot of pain with my back. Standing and walking are hard challenges for me right now. After less than a minute I need to sit down. And I force myself to go longer to accomplish things like cooking or walking more than 10 paces. I use a cane, but it’s no longer helping, darn it.
So tonight I have to live with both Pain and Enjoyment. It will require a ginormous amount of mental stamina to make it through the pain to walk to our seats (there’s a shuttle from the parking lots to the venue). I’m getting a handicap placard soon, just not soon enough for today. I’d still have to walk to our seats though. Using all that mental stamina might be enough to destabilize my mood disorder.
But there are other factors that could force the issue of destabilization. My schedule will be messed up because we’ll be up late. I’ve been very regular about bedtime for 7 months. Plus I have a big day on Monday (volunteering and a job interview). Another factor is just going to a concert where I’ll be around a lot of people and there is a lot of stimulation. Crowds have always exhausted me, and now I have to worry that being in a noisy crowd will destabilize me as well, especially accompanied with the pain and schedule factors.
Oh, my, nothing is easy, is it?
I don’t know if the pain and the potential destabilization (and my worry about it) will overshadow the enjoyment of some good music. We’ll see.
But I’m NOT looking forward to having to go through so much pain just to have some enjoyment.