Instead, the month has been full of unbloggable items as I separated from my husband of almost 17 years. I packed, ran a garage sale, moved with help from dear friends. I am now in a first-floor one-bedroom apartment closer to work and friends and church. I’ve been in the new place for 10 days. I’m unpacked and just need to get some items up on the walls to feel more settled.
While there were a host of reasons for my actions, I moved mostly for continued stability. I was not feeling the stability that I needed in the place and relationship I was in. I need to be alone and manage my own life to take the next step in my recovery. I hit a plateau that needed to be cut off in order to move forward in a healthy way.
The month has been full of every feeling possible and then some. I am surprised that I did this. I am surprised that I am doing so well living on my own. I am less anxious and feel more in control of myself already. My heart hurts for breaking another’s heart, or at least putting another’s life into extreme upheaval. I needed this upheaval, and it wasn’t happening otherwise. I hope with everything I’ve got that this gets both of us healthier mentally and physically and perhaps we can come back together as healthy selves.