Lament

I write prose much better than poetry. Maybe because I write more prose than poetry. Chicken or egg?

noteI feel like I need to write a song about all I’m going through, including painful memories and intrusive thoughts. Nothing on the radio I’ve heard in the last few weeks has helped, or expressed what I’m going through. So here’s a try.

I think of you everyday in the small things

A bowl for one, A bath towel for one

Keys for one, An apartment for one

 

Yet it’s the bigger memories with the deeper pain

A first date, letters from overseas

Cats that expand the family, a wedding kiss

 

Stuck in the past, the beautiful and the painful

while the future calls forward into sanity

Stuck in memories of you and me dancing through a relationship

Both stepping on toes while we create a life together

 

Now even the good causes me pain

I wander and wade through stickiness

You come up in everything I do

I am swallowed up in you

Maybe more than before

 

Stabbing in the heart led to the hospital

Anxiety and suicide my old friends

they beckon as surely as you arrive each day

memories that continue to stab, to mar

the wound will not heal

 

Separation slices apart two that had melted together

Leaving ‘ones’ that don’t feel whole

Despite a healthy future in the offing

the heart calls for the good to come back

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