Hospital Diaries – Feb 7

The dizziness continues. Meclazine helps but induces sleep. And this morning I woke with such pain! 3 days in a row with this pain. All is not good in D-land. [The beds are TERRIBLE, especially for someone like me with a long rod in my back.]

I’m still in the hospital – no end in sight yet. Dr. now thinks Latuda is causing dizziness so down we go on that again. I think we’re just playing with meds here. I’m a chemistry set and I’m waiting to blow up.

[Care Plan Update: Patient continues to withdraw from SSRI to begin MAOI on Tuesday. Patient reports suicidal ideations on and off but on a daily basis. Patient reports mood lability and struggling to use skills. Patient reports feeling dizzy and has unsteady gait at times due to this. Patient continues to attend groups as able and participate actively.]

I feel safer in the hospital than out. The dizziness most of all. Mood feels more stable at mildly or normal depressed. Suicidal ideation at daily but passive. Enough to get me out but unable to drive and care for elf. ON the one hand I like being taken care of, especially when it’s so hard to do so myself. ON the other hand, self-reliance is a virtue/value, though likely I retained that from childhood. Wouldn’t interdependence be better? Not necessarily easier though.

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