Hospital Diaries – Feb 9-11

February 9

New med started this morning. It’s a patch. Site feels tingly a bit at the site and a bit tingly in the head. Problems getting the patch to stick to the skin. This doesn’t bode well for long-term use if this is the drug for me.

1pm – Crying. Anxious about new dietary restrictions and possible side effects – all of which I was told would not go along with tho med. A lot of crying and anxiety.

Evening – Irritated. All over not feeling good. I felt my mood drop.

February 10

Morning – Irritated. Depressed. Suicidal ideation and Self Injury thoughts. Crying.

Having a hard time with the med adjustment – hell – continues as symptoms describe. I just want to feel better. I’m all over the place with mood and crying and wanting to hurt others and myself. And I’m exhausted with this. I’m very OVER and EXHAUSTED from the milieu of people here too. I’d rather isolate, which says a lot for this social person.

February 11

Morning – Even angrier and more irritated. Crying, Upset. Still want to throw furniture and strangle people.

See the doctor – Dr says I have gone manic and therefore this drug and any others in its class of drugs is not for me.

Relieved to know why I’m so off the wall. Disgusted that I had to go through the terrible med wash only to find out that this drug won’t work anyway. Makes me want to throw furniture again.

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2 responses to “Hospital Diaries – Feb 9-11

  1. Deborah, please post again soon. I must say that I don’t read every post, but I perked up again this week when I saw “hospital” in the titles. And you mentioned something about having a rod in your back? Me, too…. spinal fusion to treat scoliosis when I was 12 (I’m 44 now). Anyway, we don’t know each other but I’m thinking of you right now and hoping that you, your family, and the doctors will find good meds for you. So glad you have been letting them take care of you. Wishing you much strength.

    • Hi there! Also a scoliosis surgery for me when 13, 25 years ago. I’m posting my journal entries from the hospital since it’s something most haven’t read about me. T
      Readers see me wonder if I need to go and what I am coming out, but not inside. I’ll post more bout recovery from the hospital too.

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