Facebook Word Vomit

fbFor the last week or so I’ve been experiencing suicidal visions and anxiety again. Once I called my therapist who was able to remind me of some skills I have that I was losing sight of.

Mostly I’ve been reaching out to my friends, most of whom are on Facebook. I’ve had the habit of updating people on my condition, moods and thoughts on Facebook. It’s a good way to get support from my amazing friends who are very good at offering kind and hopeful words. Not everyone has that level of support online. My friends are primarily those people who I have met at different stops and chapters in my life, and we have found each other and kept up with each other on Facebook. Twitter for a while, but that has mostly gone by the wayside. Others of my friends on Facebook are those who were conversation partners and became friends through Twitter and then found each other on Facebook. These amazing people are a huge part of my support system.

It’s a hodgepodge of friends, and I trust them. So I share my moods with them during volatile times, besides the snarky insights on life and snarky memes I share no matter how I’m feeling. (I’m not a sappy inspirational meme kind of person.)

Recently I feel like I’m just sharing word vomit about my terrible thoughts and moods and desires. It’s not just that I’m doing it recently. It’s more that I feel I’ve been doing it for a long time. Granted, I’ve had a hard go of it for quite a long time. I try to be conscientious about saying how safe I am with or without horrible visions. And my friends call me on my safety and use of skills too. I think it’s a good support system – accountability included.

But I’m still feeling like it’s just word vomit and I don’t know where else to share my situation despite the program I’m in 3 days a week (not a lot of time for checking in about how horrible things are) or seeing my therapist once a week. I’m struggling, and I need support.

How do you access your support system’s help? What role does social media play in getting support?

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One response to “Facebook Word Vomit

  1. This post resonates with me because I’ve been thinking a lot about support lately, where to find it, how to utilize it. It’s awesome that you have that kind of support on Facebook. I wouldn’t even know how to begin to be that open. As far as your “word vomit” goes, we all go through phases where we just have to get the junk out of our heads. It sounds like your friends don’t necessarily mind helping you through it.

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