Short Hospitalization

Bipolar Disorder is a biological brain disease that often has environmental triggers. I ended up in the hospital for suicidal plans and intent again this week, though only for a few days (yay! a short one!). My psychiatrist thinks the anxiety I was holding about my mom’s breast cancer surgery a few weeks ago had a chance to come out as well as the fear, and that destabilized my mood. Sounds about right to me.

Even though I was doing pretty well, pretty stable, two weeks ago I started feeling suicidal again due to the environmental trigger. I am grateful for a short time in the hospital, yet worry that I will end up in again as has often happened after short hospitalizations.

Bipolar sucks.

I have to say that having an environmental trigger took the stigma and shame away from a hospitalization for me. Usually I feel embarrassed to be back in the hospital, even though the staff is generous and welcoming. But this felt like a tune-up instead of a personal failure. But I guess that’s a whole other post, that shame of being in the hospital for the twenty-somethingth time.

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2 responses to “Short Hospitalization

  1. Your blog is so inspiring and very relatable. I too suffer from Bipolar disorder and started a blog of my very own a few weeks ago. I find writing helps to organise my disorganised racing mind!

    Don’t feel ashamed of being in the hospital if it helps. Sometimes we need that little push to get back on track.

    If you would like to check out my blog it’s mybipolarmindsite.wordpress.com

  2. I am glad to hear that you are feeling better now. It is hard to cope with Bipolar…. this disease is so difficult and people just don’t understand.

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