Psychiatrist Says Overwhelmed

Understatement of the year. I shared how overwhelmed I felt doing very small tasks. And I shared my thoughts and feelings about suicide and my wish to die. And she wants me to stay with people, even while going home to handle little tasks. That’s when I feel safest – with people – even though I still want to die. I’m obsessing about ways again, the way I was in the hospital. I have an appointment with her again on Friday. I guess my goal is stay out of the hospital for the next 3 days. But it’s so painful – the feelings and wanting to die, as well as the struggle to stay out. Hour by hour I hurt and I have to tell myself “just thoughts” or “just feelings” or “just an obsession.”

I want to die.

Bipolar sucks.

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2 responses to “Psychiatrist Says Overwhelmed

  1. One day (one hour, one minute) at a time. My therapist tells me some decompensation is typical after getting discharged from hospital, and indeed that has been my experience. But that means it can also get better with time. For now, just focus on surviving in the present.

    And I agree: bipolar sucks.

  2. What do you do while you are in the hospital?

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